On Children and Veganism.

From the guy that brought you Herbivore magazine and clothing line.

There is no "U" in "Community." Well...there is but...

understand that children are a contentious topic in our movement. I understand the argument that we should not be breeding because the planet cannot support more humans. I understand a lot of people are afraid of children. I understand there are a lot of bad parents out there whose children do not ever see limits imposed on their behavior and they run wild in the streets, drenched in the blood of the infidels and burning the villages in their wake, waving sticky hands in the air and drooling from their sticky mouths, spilling every cup in sight.

I didn't really understand or feel completely comfortable around kids until I became a father. I still get nervous around other people's kids sometimes, actually. And I get hyper sensitive sometimes if Ruby is having a hard time in public or things aren't going her way and I want to make sure we aren't bothering people around us. This rarely happens as Rubes is a pretty mellow kid.

I have heard, more times than I care to count, otherwise sensitive and intelligent people say "I hate kids."

I've had people in this movement say to me "Why do I have to try and like your kid?" I've seen people in this movement get up and move when a vegan mom sat down next to them with a vegan baby and say something rude. I've had people say to me "I usually hate kids, but yours is cool!" (Uh...thanks?) I've seen people in this movement list "Kids" in their list of "disklikes" right next to meat eaters and smokers. (Oddly, in their "likes" list they will have "vegans." My kid is a vegan. Do you hate her or like her?)

Here is what you need to understand. Children are as nature made them. You dislike them, not for choices they have made (like religion or politics), but for things beyond their control. You "hate" them because they do not act like you and are outside your group. This makes you a bigot.

Bigot: One who is strongly partial to one's own group...and is intolerant of those who differ.

If you'd like to change your sentence from "I hate kids" to something more accurate, like "I am uncomfortable around children because I do not know any" or "I have had bad experiences with children in the past" please do so now and you are off the hook, sort of.

If you want to stick with the "I hate kids" line, what is the difference between "hating" kids (I keep putting this in quotes because I don't believe people actually hate kids, I just think they are irresponsible with their language.) and "hating" any other group of people for who they are instead of for choices they have made? Like the elderly? Or people of color? Or the differently abled? What exactly is the difference?

The times I confronted people in the animal rights movement with this question who professed to hate kids I got no response. Does anybody know how "hating" kids would be different than "hating" the differently abled or "hating" the elderly? I am willing to be corrected on this because I just called a whole bunch of people bigots and hope I'm wrong.

Here is what I also want people to understand, people who want this movement to grow and for less animals to suffer and die and end up as food, entertainment, clothing, etc:

Vegan children need vegan role models or they will not stay in this movement.

Kids know when they are unwelcomed in a place or situation. If I take Ruby to a vegan event and she gets nasty looks or hears rude comments about children, why would she ever want to hang around that group of people or believe those people's beliefs are kind and something she should try and adopt? If I sit down next to someone at a vegan event and the person next to me gets up and moves to the other side of the table, why would my daughter want to stick around or get involved? If I keep dragging her to events and she keeps feeling shunned and unaccepted, as soon as she is able to go elsewhere, she will. She needs adults, other than her parents, to help her understand these values.

It is our responsibility to create a movement that is inclusive and welcoming and supportive of people already involved and those looking to join us. This includes children. It includes EVERY group of people.

I am not telling you that you have to take my kid to the bathroom. I'm not telling you you have to be all smiles if Ruby loses her cool and throws a fit. I'm not asking you to hold her or teach her to read. I don't need you to babysit some time. If she spills something, don't worry, you don't have to clean it up.

What I'm asking is that you think about your behavior and how it affects this community, the members of it who you might not be the most comfortable with, and by extension, the animals you care so much about.

I'm asking you to understand that some people in this community might require you to take one step outside your comfort zone every once in a while. I want you to know that if you try a little harder and focus on the movement as a whole, instead of yourself, we will all be a little stronger. If Ruby sees smiles and hears the occasional "Hi there" from you, it will go a long way in making her feel accepted in the community she is involved in. And if she feels accepted and supported, she will stick around and become a powerful activist herself one day.